Tell Her

Tell your friends the things they don't get to hear.

I have a friend in the middle of a massive life project that comes with a number of tasks that need to be done in accordance with a series of complex deadlines. So of course, she got really sick as she was nearing the end.

With deadlines looming like fireworks in the last measures of the “1812 Overture,” she was completely out of commission. Because we belong to the GSD sorority, friends were offering to help get shit done so she could stay on track. But sometimes the offer isn’t the issue.

“I’m afraid you’re not going to want to ask us for help if you need it,” I told her.

She paused before saying, “That’s true.”

This might sound weird, but I felt a lot of relief when she said that. (And it wasn’t just the fact that someone was agreeing with me, which I never get tired of.)  I was watching a friend who pushes herself too hard, put her own well-being first. She was allowing us to help her. I was watching as she took a beat before falling into a pattern that too many of us can relate to - and so maybe I also felt like I was watching a version of myself; one who makes a good choice because she can show herself grace.