Destabilized

Finding Yourself When You Find Yourself at a Loss

It’s been a minute.

I suspect many of you can relate when I say I just haven’t known what to say about anything most days.

Last week I participated in what I affectionately call a “Grief Salon,” led by Grief Coach Rachel Fowler. I’ve talked a lot over the last year about the various forms of loss and mourning we’re all experiencing and I was fortunate that Rachel created a safe place for us all to talk about it and explore some tools for coping with the varied ways it may be affecting us. Do check her out if you want to learn more about her work.

When we began, she asked each of us to name a word that expressed how we were feeling. The closest I could think of was “Destabilized.”

I wasn’t sure if that nailed it, but looking back on my notes from a few weeks ago I realized I had written, “Write R4R on Disoriented,” so I guess it was more accurate than I initially gave myself credit for. (And that I was so disoriented I never got around to writing it.)

Other than the word, I don’t remember what the idea of that piece was supposed to be. I do remember being curious about the etymology and looking that up. It comes from the Latin word for east or rising, “Orient.” If you can find east, you know where you are; how to get where you’re going. So yeah. All of that.

We’re living in a place where what we know to be happening is so out of the norm, it’s impossible to know where we are - let alone how to go about getting to where we’re going.

Is today the day he finally blows up the world, or is it just Tuesday? Do I buy a bottle of wine and a chocolate bar just in case it’s the former?